counting
by Charged as Guilty
Summary: "You worried?"


Souji dragged his feet across the pavement, face glowing red, tears burning down his face, sniffles and hiccups rising in his chest. Strangers glanced at him curiously, some asking if they could do something to help. He would wave them off, but thanked them for their generosity. It wasn't anything they could help with. Nobody could help him with this, but he found himself walking to an apartment, hoping that one person could.

The sun beat down on him as the sky shone bright, not a cloud in sight. Sweat matted down his face, mingling with his tears, messing up his hair. He had to stop and tie his uniform around his waist, shirt soaked in sweat as his body quivered from his weeping and trembled from the heat. Rubbing his face against his arm, he slowly trudged his way up the stairs, pausing and gripping onto the railing when black spots danced around his vision. He took quaky breaths, head low, sweaty palms sliding slightly down the metal as he tried to stop himself from swaying and falling over. When he felt the world fall back into place, he slowly continued his way up the stairs, muscle memory pulling him over to the door he needed. His hands fumbled as they reached into his pant pockets, shakily putting in the key and unlocking the door, letting himself in.

Sliding off his shoes, he stepped into the empty apartment, leaning heavily against the wall as the world spun out around him. Trembling, he pushed himself off, coughing and heaving into his arm as he struggled to make it to the couch, his surroundings swaying and fading in front of him past his tears. He collapsed onto the couch in a heap, his lower torso barely even on it as he looked to the ceiling before holding his arm over his eyes, taking deep breaths, lip quivering as the sobbing never ceased.

He didn't know how long he lay there, sprawled nearly halfway onto the floor as his cries echoed in the empty room. He had no recollection of throwing his uniform onto the floor, no recollection of unbuttoning his shirt as his body fumed. He couldn't stop coughing, couldn't stop dry heaving, couldn't stop crying. The only thing he'd been able to hear past his sobs was the clock on the wall.

And then he heard the door click open.

He didn't move, not even when he heard short, confused mumbling at the front door. He heard the shuffling footsteps, the sounds of plastic bags ruffling together, and then the sudden halt in both as he felt the person staring at him. The footsteps quickened, he heard the bags get carefully placed to the floor, and he felt the cool fingers brush against shoulders, lifting him slowly and carefully into a sitting position. He removed his arm from over his face. He had run out of tears, but his body continued to shiver, his breaths interrupted by heavy hiccups, face hot and headache pounding in his temples.

"Souji, hey, what's the matter?" Adachi questioned, pulling the younger man into a light hug, Souji resting the back of his head awkwardly on the detective's chest.

Souji only found himself whimpering, words and explanations dying in the back of his throat. Adachi shifted, lightly leading Souji along as he did so until they ended up lying down, Souji resting his cheek on Adachi's chest, the older man rubbing slow circles along his back. Souji brought his hands up close to himself, gripping tightly onto Adachi's shirt as they lay there without a word, Souji continuing to whimper and quiver and sniff and hiccup as he stared blankly at the wall.

Minutes passed, the younger man's eyes drifting closed as he concentrated on Adachi's breathing—the calming motion of the quiet rise and fall of his chest almost enough to lull him to sleep. He could feel his face still burning, sweat sticking to his skin and hair matted and greasy. He was about to shift, to push himself off of the detective and drag himself to the bathroom for a shower, but then Adachi started to hum. He found himself at peace—the vibrations in Adachi's chest rolling along him quietly, the humming stunning the silence between them, the older man starting to slowly run his finger's through Souji's matted hair without a care.

He wasn't humming anything in particular, but Souji didn't mind. It blocked the sounds of the monotone clock, filtered past his hesitant breaths and filled the air with life. He found his fingers uncurling lightly from the man's shirt—still clinging on, but less desperate, less upset. He opened his eyes slowly, staring at the wall through a half-lidded view, merely continuing to listen to the mindless tune, feel the rise and fall of Adachi's chest under his cheek, the vibrations that lightly waved through him as the man hummed, the fingers lightly brushing against his scalp as the man continued to feather fingers through his hair.

The calm filled his system, his breathing slowly turning back to normal, slowly tuning into Adachi's as he started to follow the man's rhythm. He shifted slightly, pulling himself up to rest his face in the crook of Adachi's neck, the detective continuing to hum nonchalantly, fingers still dragging through the younger man's hair. Adachi shifted his leg, curling it around Souji's knee, a slight twitch in his body and a grunt from the back of his throat stopping his hum short. Souji figured he had a leg cramp.

He slowly lifted his head and smiled dimly, lightly pushing himself off of the detective to allow him to sit up. He grabbed his uniform off of the floor and draped it over a nearby chair, the heavy ticking of the clock quickly filling in the wordless atmosphere before Souji went back to sit next to the older man. Adachi gave him a wry smile, resting his forehead on the teen's shoulder as he reached around him, grabbing the remote from the armrest, tiredly flicking on the TV.

"What's bothering you?" he mumbled, lightly nudging Souji's shoulder with his head.

"It's kinda stupid..." Souji mumbled back, biting his lip as he scratched away at the dried tears on his face.

Adachi nudged him again. "Stop that," he grumbled, reaching around and grabbing Souji's wrists, bringing his hands to his lap. "And it can't be stupid if it makes you that upset. Tell me."

Souji squeaked as the detective shifted again, grabbing Souji by his upper torso and lifting him enough to move him. Souji found himself pulled onto the detective's lap Adachi now resting his chin on his shoulder, hands protectively wrapped around Souji's waist as he absentmindedly shifted through the channels on TV. Shivers ran through Souji's body as Adachi started to hum lightly again.

Souji sighed, leaning back into Adachi's body as much as he could, watching the screen flicker as Adachi changed stations again and again. His stomach churned and his heart hammered as he thought of it again.

"I'm leaving in four days..." he muttered, rolling his head back lightly.

Adachi let out a short sigh and Souji could feel the weary smile plant on his face. "You worried?"

"I just... I haven't left here in so long..." his voice cracked, and he cursed as he could feel tears well back up in his eyes. "It's such a long trip... a year. A year. I think about it and I just—"

"When you came to Inaba, it was only for a year."

"But that was... that was different—it... that..." he shut his eyes, struggling to find the right words for his insecurities, struggling to keep his tears at bay. "I was going to live with family. I _knew_ someone, at least. I'm not going to know _anybody_ there! A-And what if something happens to me? To _you_? I've never been away from you for so long and it hurts to think about. I think the worst things... I think of such terrible, terrifying things and I choke up and I can't breathe and I can't think and—"

"So breathe with me."

Souji turned, Adachi combing his fingers through his hair again, other hand letting the remote drop to Souji's lap as it lifted to the younger man's chin. Adachi tilted Souji's face lightly, the man shifting himself yet again as he brought his lips to Souji's. It was an awkward position, Adachi's lips like a kiss of a butterfly on his before they were gone.

Lightly throwing the remote to the other side of the couch, Souji turned his entire self, straddling the older man with his hips as Adachi brought him back for another kiss. It was one kiss, long and light, hushed and calm. It slowly dissolved into the fall of multiple kisses, all of them the whisper of breaths and the touch of feathers before Adachi turned his head away and pulled Souji into a hug.

"It's going to be fine."


End file.
